Drug and alcohol recovery suggestions - Who do I listen to?
One question I often ask myself is: What is the very best thing that I can do for me?
It is easy to get led astray when one walks through the doors spiritually, emotionally and mentally disturbed. When there is no self-esteem, we seem to think that others know what is best for us.
In the early days, I was told to do stuff that I felt uncomfortable doing. For example, I was told that If I was serious about my recovery, I would quit my job. I was told not to have sex for the first year. I was told to ring my sponsor every day at a certain time. Do 90 meetings in 90 days and so on.
In simple terms, if it's not in the Big Book of your particular program, it's not the program. This is not to suggest that any other information will not contribute to the recovery process. The point here is to determine the truth about what I need to do in order to be happy in recovery.
Lucky for me the information that I needed to hear came across my path in the form of A.A. cassette tapes.
One tape in particular sticks out in regards to following suggestions. The tape is Ken D in Hawaii 1991. I listened to this tape for the first couple of years in recovery every night just before bed. It was then that I realised I do not have to quit my job. I am allowed to have a relationship and so on. It does not say anywhere in the Big Book that I should call my sponsor every day.
Ken D says that if it's not in the Big Book, it's not the program. He goes on to say that there is nothing "wrong" with other suggestions.
This all goes back to the old take what you need and leave the rest. If I don't want to quit my job, I will not. If I want to have a relationship, I will. If I don't want to ring some control freak every day, I certainly will not.
So now I realise that anyone has the right to ask where does it say that in the Big Book.
There is nothing wrong with other suggestions which may compliment my recovery, in fact, I use lots of information outside of AA which compliments my recovery, empowers me, and contributes to my growth.
I stay away from unsolicited advice both in, and outside of the fellowship.
No amount of clean and sober time can replace experience.
The bottom line is this. No matter what happens, no matter what kind of emotional disturbance I am feeling, pick up the phone and talk about it with another person who has a measure of recovery.
(p84 A.A. Big Book talks about talking with others when disturbed.)
